A cancer diagnosis that forces a woman to relook her life

Cancer, Inner Peace, Mind-Body Connection

The mom of a close friend of mine got diagnosed with womb cancer when my friend was 17 years old. Prior to the diagnosis, her mom had always been an accommodating, and  quietly submissive person, taking care of the family business while my friend’s father is out hanging out with his friends.

When her dad came back after enjoying himself and in a foul mood, he would just verbally abuse her mom for no reason. Usually, the words were hurtful- he made sure she knew what an incapable, uneducated useless woman who was just lucky to end up with him. He also found fault with lots of things that she did. If I was not mistaken, my friend told me that her dad had hit her mom a few times.

Through the years, her mom had allowed that abuse to happen. She told my friend, that she will just put up with it till all her children are grown up. Then, she will just leave him.

That was the plan-  until that fateful year when she was diagnosed with womb cancer. It was a tough period for my friend as well, as she was due to sit for an important examination soon.

Her mom had to undergo operation, followed by radiotherapy. Unfortunately, the radiotherapy damaged part of her intestines. She had to attach an external colostomy bag with her wherever she went- where her faeces had to be lodged on the bag instead of passing out naturally via the rectum. It was almost 2 years before her intestines recovered and she was able to have it removed.

It was during the time that her mom made the decision that she will just stop being nice and accommodating. She is not a fierce person, but when she started standing up for herself, her husband (my friend’s dad) started backing off.  At the same time, my friend and her siblings were already very angry with their father- and in order to protect their mom, they no longer endure their father’s nonsense. They made it known that if their dad were to as much as bully their mom anymore, they will leave their dad.

Deep down inside, bullies are cowards- they are just trying to portray power through breaking others down. When the victim refuses to endure any nonsense, the bully will usually back off. And sometimes, these former bullies will find courage to deal with their own fears and issues.

But there’s also another side to this- as a couple, they have gone through a lot of difficulties together. After her mom changed, their relationship sort of evolved. There was no divorce- in fact, later her mom ran into some difficulties and her dad dropped everything to be by her side.

It has been more than 15 years since the diagnosis. The cancer has been under remission.

Of course, her mom also took care of other aspects- such as her diet, and do not work herself so hard anymore.

She is not the first cancer survivor who I’ve seen changed from being a passively submissive person to a more assertive person. Perhaps the diagnosis is not such a curse- as it had forced her change her life.

Everything that happens in our lives- illnesses and tragedies are part and parcel of the life of a mortal. It really sad and it sucks big time to have to learn a lesson in such a cruel way. But these incidents force us to stop living our life in the wrong direction. They give us no choice but to turn inward and after we heal, we emerge as stronger, more compassionate and learn what’s the meaning of conscious living.

Related Posts

Connection between heart valve problem and chronic sinus- Mind Body Connection I remember reading in the papers sometime back that a very young lady had to undergo open heart surgery to repair her mitral valve- and other than chronic sinus, she did not seems to have other health complaints. In the same article, it was mentioned that a study have indicated that patients with heart valve problem seemed to be suffering from chro...
Severe back pain but why nothing shows up in tests Here is a question that was posed by someone: Any ideas what is causing this pain? I am female aged 38. Every couple of weeks I get severe pain in my back, left side and lower abdomen. This has now happened 3 times in 6 weeks and I am concerned. I went to the hospital, who referred me to my GP, who referred me back to the hospital and I feel like...
Inflammed eyes or conjunctivitis- someone got on your nerves? Sometimes people we love change into a way that it become painful for us even look at them. Some examples: are not quite we expect them to be, in the instance of a relationship that had gone sour a wife who suspects that her husband may be having an affair outside and chose to 'turn the blind eye' or 'look the other way' a parent whose b...
Health problems from the stress of being managed out at work I read a viral post from Facebook that talked about a former COO (Chief Operating Officer) who shared the dirty going-ons in corporate life. When you are not liked by your boss, superiors or the management, instead of asking you to leave or offering you a severance package, what they would do is to make your life miserable so that you would resign ...
Unable to Control Blood Sugar in Diabetes? Check your stress levels In the book called The Mind-Body Diabetes Revolution writen by Dr Richard S. Surwit with Alisa Bauman, carries a short tagline: The proven way to control your blood sugar by managing stress, depression, anger and other emotions. Dr Richard had spent about 20 years studying the relationship between blood sugar levels and the emotional state of...
Spread the love

Leave a Comment

6 + 1 =