Sexual problems as the result of childhood trauma

Mind-Body Connection

Once, a boy of 8 years old went on a school trip to the local zoo with more than a hundred students. Halfway through, he had this strong urge to pass motion but did not dare to approach the teacher as everyone seemed to be rushing during the trip.

Finally, he could not stand it anymore and he shitted all over his school pants. The teacher was upset by this. She asked him to go to the toilet to clean up and throw away his pants since it was full of excreta.

But she never gave him any towel or additional pants to wear on himself. Basically, the poor boy had to walk during the entire trip and in the bus wearing no pants and with his private part all exposed! Passerbys stared at him and his schoolmates laughed at him.

He told me that when his mom went and pick him up, she was shocked to see her son without any pants. But instead of being apologetic, the teacher talked in a tone that as if it was the boy’s fault for not telling them he needed to pass motion.

Perhaps one may discount such experience like this. But from what I know, the poor boy suffered damage for the next few decades. Having your private parts exposed and everyone laughing and sneering at you (and I dread to think if there were any pedophile who would give him strange looks) are stuff that makes up our worst nightmares. To have it happen in real life would be real traumatizing.

However, the damage went unnoticed at first. The fact that he stopped and refused to wear shorts or bermudas to expose his legs, and he only wore baggy pants even though he was in relatively good physical shape was not seen as anything wrong.

But as he grew up, he had issues getting intimate with girls. Coupled with his introverted personality, he could not build a good relationship with girls and was single for a long time. Finally he met a girl who was aggressively pursuing him but he could not have a proper sexual relationship with. For some reason, he felt very ashamed and not able to show her his private part. The girl was patient with him and was willing to give him time and eventually they did settle down.

Later I did ask about his situation and he told me that he was able to finally get intimate with her. He admitted he had to learn through watching porn. But it was also the patience of his wife that helped.

The above is a classic example of how a small event such as this causes almost a lifetime of trauma on a person. Those who have gone through sexual abuse would find it very difficult to heal. For those cases, therapy and counselling would be required if one wishes to get well and towards a healthy sexual relationship.

Unless of course, one wants to take a vow of chastity and enter into monastics…. where aversion and sexual disinterest would help one to go through the practice. Otherwise, for those who aspire a normal life, it would help to sought professional help.

What happens if one cannot trace the sexual problems to this life?

If the problems could not be traced to this life, could it be due to something that had happened from a previous life? Note: This applies only for those who are open to the idea that we do not only have one life in this earth:

 

Dr Edith Fiore was a clinical psychologist who wrote the book called The Unquiet Dead whereby she attributes a lot of psychological illness came from spirit possession. She started off totally from a medical and scientific background. In the YouTube video above, she shared on how it all started.

A patient came to her with sexual problems. After speaking to the patient, she used hypnosis to try to help the patient. She used hypnosis regressive therapy and took him back to what she expected was an embarrassing event of his life. But instead, the man started telling her about his life as a Catholic priest in Italy who lived in the 17th century.

She was incredulous and did not really believe him. But the man went on to say that as a Catholic priest, he could not have sex (possibly all the suppression and hatred at the arising of lust, etc). He finally died in his 50s of a heart attack in that lifetime.

What surprised Dr Edith was that the man came back a few weeks later with his sexual problems totally healed. She said in the interview that until then, 10 years into her work, she did not believe in reincarnation or spiritual possession a 100%.

But it was not really about what she believe but the fact that the methodology she applied had a high success rates in healing patients with various spectrum of psychological issues.

Conclusion:

If you or your partner is suffering from sexual dysfunction which is affecting the quality of your relationship, it may not be the other person’s fault. This could be traced back to a particular or a series of events, sometimes suppressed memories whereby therapy may be required.

In the first case of the above, the decision of the teacher that I believe was ill intended caused decades of damage to the guy’s self esteem and given him sexual problems.

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