How to stop being so petty

Inner Peace

Being petty is no fun. We think about some issue again and again and refused to let it go. It drains us and affect our relationships with others. It ruins friendship, partnership, marriage and breaks family ties.

It is just not worth to be petty.

Of course most of us know it is not worth it. But often the behavior comes involuntarily like driving a vehicle which the break goes out of control- we could not control ourselves.

So how do we stop being petty?

The solution is simple…..

Take up a job that is your passion and that is so demanding that you do not have time to be petty. Avoid listening to office gossip.

Even if you are being told something bad about a person in passing, don’t mull over it.

I’ve noticed over the years that the successful leaders in the organizations that I work in does not have time to be petty. Neither can they afford to be petty as it is very energy draining. After work, they still have their family to go to.

I must admit that in the past, I had been quite petty at times. I hated the feeling but did not know how to overcome it. Then my job got more and more demanding and stressful. There were either complicated matters that I need to address, writing extremely difficult emails to communicate or to attend meetings where I need to be on my guard to avoid taking up something that could jeopardize the department.

At the same time, my mom’s health was declining.

So I had to priortize at work to finish my tasks as soon as possible. I do my best to allocate time to spend with my mom as much as I could outside my office hours.

In the midst of all these…. I stop having the time nor energy to be petty. Being petty is a real energy drainer. I had too much to do that I could not afford to be petty.

When you become very clear of the direction that you wish to take and you are very focused to align with your direction and priorities, it is hard to be petty.

The same goes with the good leaders in my organization who often had to deal with praise as well as criticism. They are working with a clear goals in mind. If they were petty, they would not be able to accomplish things they want to accomplish for the organization.

I know, you may object as there may be nasty, petty psychopath leaders in your organization. However these are different bred of people and all I can say is once their luck runs out, they would fall from grace. I’ve worked long enough to see it happening- it may not impact their careers but it would affect their personal lives or those of their children.

Learning not to be petty is something that I am grateful that my previously stressful and demanding job had helped me. It is something that buck passers or tai chi kings (people who play dumb and try to push as much work to you as possible) would never learn or know.

Often we cannot change by just learning the theory and justifying internally on our own. We need to be pushed and shoved into the situation (sometimes kicking and screaming). Then with time, we would acquire positive qualities in order to cope or deal with the situation that we are being presented with.

 

Related Posts

How to really cure chronic fatigue and constant tiredness at its roots From the previous article, I’ve discussed about methods that usually folks with chronic fatigue, constant lethargy and tiredness resort to: change in diet and exercise that may not have worked and wanted another answer, not another product, cardio machine or supplement. Until today, no scientific or medical research have managed to identify the ...
Stay interested in the world, take on a challenge Recently, my friend forwarded me a transcribed speech by the ex Singapore Prime Minister, Lee Kuan Yew. He talked about how he dealt with aging and that when he was younger, how he just quit smoking, survived a heart bypass and his simple, yet powerful philosophies of life. But most important of all, he advised many people, especially retirees t...
When the job takes a toll on your health I read the recently published article on Greg Smith's open letter of resignation from Goldman Sachs. How he felt that he could no longer work for a company with questionable morals and exists only to rip their clients off. It might sound surprising to a skeptical public, but culture was always a vital part of Goldman Sachs’s success. It revolved a...
Why it does not pay to be mean, nasty and wicked towards others Talking about nasty people, my mom had her share of meeting nasty people all through her life. Throughout her career as a staff nurse at a government hospital, my mother had to work at busy second or third class wards where there is huge shortage of headcount. After my grandaunt passed away when I was 9 years old, there was no one who could look...
When the nighmares would not stop and you wake up like a zombie Following my previous article that mentioned the possibility of waking up tired and drained, you may also want to consider exploring another possibility- Are you following a direction in life that’s true to yourself? First, overcoming the fear of the unknown or 'unseen' Sometimes when the circumstances of these dreams are so strange, you may ...
Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Comment


8 + 1 =