What to do if you feel an urge to hurt or kill someone

Spiritual

This is a continuation from the earlier article Are serial killers like Ted Bundy demon possessed to kill?

If you find yourself constantly filled with destructive and seemingly evil intrusive thoughts, there is a name for it. It is known as Pure O OCD. Destructive thoughts that seemingly out of character, shameful and sometimes downright evil or socially unacceptable.

Are such thoughts considered to be from influence of evil?

There are a small minority of psychiatrists, therapist and doctors who attributed certain illnesses to originate from spirit possessions and entity attachments. They would use methods similar to exorcism. In the case of Dr William Baldwin, he would use a spirit removal method (more like persuading instead of forcing the spirit or entity to leave).

 

Not all traditions resort to exorcism or casting out of spirits. In the Buddhist tradition, some monks and nuns who are highly developed in their meditation are able to perceive such attachments, which is considered as kammic debtors or kammic forces. They know that each one sow and reap his/her kamma. But they do not perform any rituals to cast spirits out or to kill these spirits as practiced in other Asian traditions even though they have the power to do so if they wish to.

This is because by doing this, it violates the first precept in Buddhism which says no harming or killing other beings. It is not that they are not helpful but they know that if the person does not change, he can get all the exorcisms in the world and it would not ‘cure’ the person. You can get rid of one entity and ten others may come and attach themselves again because the person still has within it that quality that attracts beings of the same vibe.

But if a person made the decision to change, and not to give in to the urge to inflict hurt on others and slowly learn to strengthen one’s awareness and mind through the guidance of a good meditation teacher, one may be able to permanently remove the character vulnerability that makes one susceptible to such attacks in the first place.

A famous monk, Ajahn Chah once said:

Some people feel that these sudden arisings of thought are wrong or evil. You may have an impulse to kill someone. But you are aware of it in the next instant; you realize that killing is wrong, so you stop and refrain. Is there harm in this? What do you think? Or if you have a thought about stealing something, and that is followed by a stronger recollection that to do so is wrong, and so you refrain from acting on it, is that bad kamma? It’s not that every time you have an impulse you instantly accumulate bad kamma. Otherwise, how could there be any way to liberation? Impulses are merely impulses. Thoughts are merely thoughts. In the first instance, you haven’t created anything yet. In the second instance, if you act on it with body, speech, or mind, then you are creating something: avijja (ignorance) has taken control. If you have the impulse to steal, and then you are aware of yourself and aware that this would be wrong, this is wisdom, and there is vijja (knowledge) instead. The mental impulse is not consummated.

If we don’t have any thoughts, how will wisdom develop? Some people simply want to sit with a blank mind. That’s wrong understanding.

This is the timely awareness of wisdom arising and informing our experience. If there is the first mind-moment of wanting to steal something, and then we act on it, that is the dhamma of delusion; the actions of body, speech, and mind that follow the impulse will bring negative results.

Excerpt from Nibbana Is Giving Up, Letting Go, and Being Free

There is also another real story that come from a monk whose book changed my life. His name is Luangta Maha Boowa. He was an example of how some people are born with a strong potential… of either being able to inflict great harm…. or great goodness.

Luangta Maha Boowa eventually led his life choosing the latter:

Here is an excerpt of his biography, published after his passing away:

When his Mother was pregnant, she mentioned to the family and relatives that “The nature of the baby in the womb as it grows, it will move and this the mother will be able to feel. However, the nature of this child differs from others for it sleeps and stays still, very quiet as if there is no breathing. The Mother often thought and worried why is the baby not moving, why is it so quiet, can it be that the baby is already dead?”. However when the baby did moves, it also moved around more than other babies, it really trashed inside her and his Mother felt very intense pain at the stomach. When the birth drew near, the Mother felt the birth pangs for 3 days but there was no sign of birth. While in such a great pain she thought she is going to die, but then suddenly inside her it became again so quiet that she thought has the baby already died? Then the baby starts wriggleling again…”

His grandfather guessed the character of the baby in the womb like that: “If it is a boy, whatever he desires, he will be very firm about it, with great determination and seriousness about everything he does and not being ambiguent”. When the baby was finally born, the placenta was thrown over his shoulder. When grandfather saw that, he said “ alms-bowl strap” and predicted three things:

1. alms-bowl strap: if he becomes a philosopher, he will shake the earth.

2. robust strap: if he becomes a hunter, his skills will shake the forests.

3. chain strap: if he becomes a thief, there will be no prison that is able to lock him up.

Luangta chose the path to goodness. He ordained as a monk, met a very good teacher (Ajahn Mun) and become an inspiring spiritual master in Thailand. He also managed to save the Thai economy from collapsing in the 1996 economy crisis, amongst the many meaningful things he had done.

You have a choice

The stronger your capability and potential in doing good, the more adversities and inner demons that you would need to overcome. Going through trauma and suffering in life can either make:

A: You develop evil and the urge to do onto others 10x or 100x more of what had been done to you.

OR

B: The experience made you be able to emphasize the suffering of others. Through these hardships in your own life, you develop genuine compassion for others including those who have hurt you

If you choose evil

If you choose A, and entered a pack with the devil so to speak, you would be on the losing end. Because in the end you need to realize the voice in your head that you are obeying would not be with you through thick and thin. It would leave you to face the consequences of your crime…all alone. Without help or protection or reinforcement.  You would be facing the electric chair or life imprisonment all alone.

Usually serial killers would end up getting caught because I believe vengeful spirits of their victims, with time would collectively gain more strength to be able to make the killer get caught. It is very difficult for those who died being torture or through wrongful death to just move one until they see the killer being punished. At first, they are not able to get near to the serial killer for revenge due to the strong evil protective force around him.

But one day, the killer’s luck would run out. He would meet with a victim who had a stronger life force and with a little help from the vengeful spirits or maybe the victim’s guardian angels, the victim may be able to escape and report to the police.

In the case below of Richard Beasley, a man who lured men to his death through placing ads in Craigslist on the pretext of hiring a help to manage a 688 ekar ranch. With the help of his nephew, he lured 3 men to their death… he lured them to the woods and shoot them at close range.

Their luck ran out on the 4th victim, Scott Davis. The fourth guy was made to turn to walk back and the moment he turned around the killer had the gun pointed at him. The hairs of his head went up (we sometimes get that feeling when spirits are around) and he gets a bad feeling. When he heard a click sound, the victim quickly turned around and saw a gun and look straight in Richard Beasley’s dark vacant eyes. By some miracle, the gun jammed (perhaps one or all three of the deceased victim helped in this). But the victim was hit on his elbow on the second shot. He ran to the forest and creek. After 7 hours (a miracle that he survived with so much of blood loss), he decided he must come out of the forest. When he wanted to move to the nearest house after walking 7 miles, he felt a force pushed him against going to the house (probably because he would not get help or may be harmed). He walked further to the next house and was finally able to get help. Police was then able to caught the killer and his nephew.

The video below shows the story narrated by the survivor:

That is why no matter what evil voices are trying to convince you to do, you can bet your life that that entity would be no where near once you when you are coming face to face with the electric chair. Adios amigo and bye bye…. till next time.

Even if you are not caught, when you get old and your body is no longer able to carry out the evil, it would take off. Off to look for the next victim, leaving you in the terror of being haunted by the vengeful spirits of those you have mercilessly killed. Or your body would be ravaged by a terminal illness such as cancer or leukemia.

That is not the end. After you died, some of the vengeful spirits of the victims would be waiting for you to inflict torture on you the same way how you tortured them. Only that this act would be repeated again and again… that is what they call hell.  That evil entity that had ‘protected’ you and shooed them away are nowhere to be found. No repentance would help because the universal law is one sow what one reaps and no beings can help to deliver you from this fate.

You would have been a fool to allow yourself to be manipulated like this. People said that most serial killers are expert manipulators…. but to me, the manipulator is the one being manipulated.  Therefore, don’t fall to the trap. You have NOTHING to gain from giving in to your darkest desires.

Choosing to move towards goodness

If you choose B, you are able to work and transform your own experience. All thought forms, whether self or planted as stated would remain as what they are, merely thoughts if you do not act on them. Slowly, and you must be resilient, these thoughts would lose their power and get weaker.

You can work towards that direction by several ways:

  • deepening your knowledge of your own religious faith. Praying for help and protection can help
  • do not allow negative thoughts to spin out of control. Because through this, ‘planted thoughts’ from evil entities can infect your consciousness
  • staying away from drugs, alcohol, porn or other addictive behaviours that places you in a vulnerable state and attract these energies to you
  • do not open yourself up through risky behaviours such as playing in ouija boards, seances, and if you can avoid watching horror movies.
  • learn meditation that helps to strengthen your mindfulness and awareness under a knowledgable teacher. If you see external lights (even though your eyes are closed), past lives, hear voices, do NOT respond to these as it would lure you further away…. that is why a competent teacher is important

 

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