In the previous article, I have spoke of my experience and how it is okay not to be born beautiful. In this article, I would go into the lessons I’ve learned about the advantages of being below average in the looks department. Well, even I use ‘ugly’ in the title, I believe beautiful or ugly is how you perceive yourself as well as in the eye of the beholder.
Advantages of being ugly
1. Bad and superficial people often get filtered out in your life without requiring much effort from your part
I understand….. all teenagers want to be the most popular girl or guy in school to feel cool and accepted. Coz I was young once, and went through the same phrase as any normal kid would.
Exception is that you tried to compensate by being super nice and letting people step all over you. And not being able to say no or set boundaries. If you do that, sadly you would attract people who take advantage of you as they would see a huge sign called ‘sucker’ in neon colours on your forehead. Once they have no use for you, they would desert you.
Otherwise if you are the kind who know your worth and set healthy boundaries, you would not really attract users into your life.
2. You attract ‘real’ people who like you for who you are inside, ie your inner beauty
It is a different feeling of being liked for the fake persona that you lead the world and your Facebook friends/IG followers to believe versus being liked for who you truly are, warts and all. Through my life, acquaintances come and go but I’ve got friends who still remain close for decades. They know me at my best and my worst and they’re cool with that.
If people like to hang out with you because you are popular or rich, you would try desperately to hang on to the popularity and wealth because you would be afraid to lose those people.
3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
This was what my mom used to say to ‘console’ me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and people who mattered would look beyond the surface. I never quite believed her especially when I was a teenager experiencing the regular peer pressure.
But as I grew up, I find that this is very true. Beauty is only skin deep. Yes, we tend to get misjudged in our first impression with them. However, I find people of substance quickly look beyond the outer appearance.
Those who will not hang out with you because you are ‘uncool’ frankly is not worth your time in the first place. You get to filter out a lot of such people, especially if you tend to dress down and don’t put up makeup, haha.
And when a person falls for you, you know he or she loves you for the ‘real’ you. It is a very different and special feeling that cannot be compared to people who look at you with lust filled eyes just because you are drop dead gourgeous. Coz, in no time they would start looking at other people the same way once the physical attraction wears off.
4. Save you a tonne of money
When you are pretty and popular, you would often get invited to parties and special events. They all want you there. For ladies, there is a pressure not to be seen in the same outfit and the need to spend a lot in makeup and beauty regime (expensive makeup, spas, facial, hair treatment, nail treatment, wax, diet pills, etc etc). You would not want to be seen in a cheap knockout so it would mean having to always shop at expensive brands. And finally, you would feel pressure to ensure the furniture, cutleries, interior design, car and whatever live up to the ‘social status’ that you perceived yourself.
Stick with that kind of lifestyle and no matter how much you earn, it would never be enough. You would constantly be broke.
And the most heartbreaking thing? When you suddenly contract a serious illness that makes you unable to work, and the medication makes you put on weight, you would find these ‘fair weather’ friends ghosting you and disappearing from your life. After the initial few social media post of comfort, they kinda disappear and some may even unfriend you. This really happened to someone I know. So, is it really worth it?
For me, I’ve long realized that I am not suited to designer clothings. They are either too hot, tight, or makes me looked like a stuffed turkey. Eventually I settled into a durable but average price brand of clothings that make me feel comfortable. My blouses to work cost only about average USD15 or less but of good quality. I also switched to pants that looked like working pants but actually had no zippers or zippers at the side (so I need not worry about ever having the fly of my pants open like how I have seen happened to some of my friends). What I’ve learned is to wear clothes that is comfortable and good fitting because it would make you feel good and at ease with yourself.
I also drive a old dented car which I had paid off years ago. I get asked often since I am of a Manager level, why didn’t I upgrade? They have no idea how many times the car had saved my life because the outer appearance of my dented car gives the impression that I am a bad driver. So cars are more alert when around my car and I have seen (from my rear view and side mirrors) of reckless motorcyclists literally slowly down when they saw my car.
When I had to resign to be a full time caregiver, I was able to make the transition because I don’t have financial commitments and loans to tie me down.
5. Certain face features like chubby nose and fat face denotes good fortune
I am not sure which type of life you prefer:
- to be pretty, pursued by men and later settling for the most sweet talking man who ended up breaking your heart because he is a heartless womaniser, a gambler or a psychopath and leaving you to raise your kids all by yourself (true story okie in more than 1 occassion), or
- marry a down to earth man, having an ordinary down to earth life with enough money to live comfortably
Do you know that the kind of look where people go for in plastic surgery for example to have a thinner nose, higher checkbones, smaller face, etc may change the fortune of the person unfavourably? Like the Hyun Bin(popular Korean actor) kinda look with high cheekbones are detrimental. In Chinese beliefs, high cheekbones especially in women are considered to result in early death of their partners. You would remember the classic high cheekbones of Jacklyn Kennedy, the wife of the assinated US President John F Kennedy.
You may not have a handsome or pretty face but your face may be indicative of good fortune or at least a life that you need not struggle for. I’ve seen far too many beautiful woman end up eventually struggling all their lives. My mom for instance, had to basically worked hard all her life to raise us. Whereas my dad was quite laid back type and had the wife doing all for him.
You would note that the world’s richest persons (who retained their wealth for a long time as I don’t mean those who got rich due to some bubble that later burst) usually are not the most handsome or beautiful in terms of looks. But from Chinese face reading knowledge, their face carry the signs of good fortune and wealth. They do not have thin bony faces or a sharp small nose that many people go for in plastic surgery to change.
Take care ya all and be happy with who you are and how you look. You’ll most likely not need that nose, boob job or an eating disorder because a gorgeous body and beautiful face would not make you happy.