Thanks, or no thanks to YouTube recommendation, I discovered a couple of channels where all the YouTubers did was went around and took user posted stories in Reddit, forums or Quora and then narrated these stories into their channels. All were supposed to be true stories.
I became hooked to these stories, spending hours each day hiding in my room listening to them. Since there were so many of these stories available, you literally never run out of sources. These YouTube channels are popular and each video would tend to attract hundreds and thousands of views.
My ADHD did not help…. the hyperfocus and obsession kicked in. One thing I dislike about ADHD is once you develop a bad habit, it becomes hard to kick the habit. I can spend many hours without eating or even going to the toilet, and neglecting my duties just being engrossed with the latest adrenaline pumping stories.
Till I started noticing the downside of listening too much of these stories that I had to make myself stop.
When you keep listening to these stories, it does things to your mind. Negative things:
- You are more susceptible to bad moods such as anger, irritability, laziness and tiredness (due to insufficient sleep or not peaceful sleep)
- Night time become a little too scary to sleep without the lights on
- You walked and many times you thought there was something moving at the corner of your eye. You looked and there was nothing. Sometimes you don’t dare to look.
- You freak yourself over little things. The slightest sound scares you even though it could be just a mouse going over your roof
- You are afraid someone would just climb into your room while you are asleep and harm or kill you
Also I noticed there is an energy shift. I felt my life force energy becoming weaker because of the negative emotions as the result of listening to these stories. I started to imagine things that feeling presence in my room or the nearby me after sundown. I started waking up feeling very lethargic, like energy being sucked out of me.
I recalled similar experience few years ago when at one time as I was trying to learn the Thai language, I started watching Thai movies that were provided by my DimSum app (similar to Netflix but offered in Malaysia). Most of the Thai movies shown as horror movies….because it is what Thailand is most famous for.
Maybe I was just being paranoid. But at times I am sensitive to energies around me. For example, I used to come back feeling very lethargic and as heavy as lead when I accompanied my mom to hospital for her checkups or visiting ‘historical’ places where many generations had lived and died…. until I learned how to protect myself.
When I open senses up through listening to these stories, I felt I am voluntarily changing the vibration and energy around me. What we do would attract the matching vibrations. For example if we go gothic style… ie wear black, dark eye makeup, paint our nails black and hangout at lonely, depressing places, we tend to attract negative energies to us. Especially once we start ruminating a lot (negative thoughts), we would start to get destructive intrusive thoughts that eventually may lead to psychosis and depression. If left untreated, it may result in harm- either self harm or harming others or even suicide.
Note: I have spoken to a few people who had the ability to see spirits. They told me that these unseen beings tend to hang around dark places and around people who are watching ghost/horror stories. They told me they avoid watching these shows (which makes sense because what they are seeing on daily basis is already freaking them out so there is no sense to go scare themselves silly).
After a few weeks of being addicted to listening to true horror/ghost/ crime stories, I decided to snap out of it and stop altogether because I did not like the mood that these things are turning me into. I stopped cold turkey. I click “Not interested” or “Don’t recommend this channel” each time videos of such genre pops up in my YouTube home feed. I kept myself busy with some tasks and slowly the urge to watch or listen to these videos went off.
It took about a week for things to return to normal. For me to be able to turn off the lights when I sleep and not be afraid when I need to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get something.
We surf net and watch videos when we are bored. Horror and ghosts stories have a way of making us excited through pumping our adrenaline levels. Especially the supposedly true stories.
But if you are prone to an active imagination, like to ruminate, have anxiety, stressed and depressed…. do yourself a favour…. stay out of these kinda stuff as much as you can. Connecting to these things would alter your energy levels. Fear and paranoia would weaken your auric energy causing you to be susceptible to further mental health issues down the line.