Today, social media like Facebook and Twitter seemed to be making people feel more lonely and isolated than ever. Suddenly, you feel that all your friends have life, spouses and partners that are better than what you are having. Especially when you are stuck with a partner or spouse who seemed not to understand you, the happy photos of your friend’s recent honeymoon taken in Venice seemed to make the feelings of isolation and loneliness worse.
The next thing you know, you went around snooping and stalking your ex’s facebook page only to find that your ex looked happier in the arms of his new love- somehow he looked much happier with her than when he was with you.
“What’s wrong with me?” you seriously wonder and start to doubt yourself. And feelings of isolation, worthlessness, feeling like a loser and gradually depression sets in. You feel lousy, you feel like a loser and you are seriously starting to ask yourself if you have made the wrong choice….
We always think that only single people are supposed to feel lonely. But the loneliness felt in a marriage is much worst than one that is felt by a single on a Friday or Saturday night. Often, single people had somehow learned to adapt and they found ways to occupy themselves. Technically, they are free to be close to anyone that catches their fancy.
But a person who is married can’t just look elsewhere (at least not openly and without causing a distratrous consequences). There’s the mortgage, kids, finance- that is becomes a joint responsibility and commitment. It gets more lonely when you feel alone in changing the diapers or having someone you love who had seemed to turn into a stranger. If you are feeling that way, you are not alone. Many people feel it too- and social media like Facebook can further amplify the emotions.
Following is a good article that was by Mary Jo Rapini- that people can be married or in a relationship and yet feel lonely: Loving You Leaves Me Lonely. She discusses the potential health risks with feelings of loneliness and isolation: overeating, food cravings, increased blood pressure, alcohol and drug abuse, insomnia and depression.
And if you are feeling in the dumps, logout from your Facebook. Stop searching for friends to add or go round stalking and reading pages of strangers or ‘friends of friends’. The net has many forums whereby strangers are openly sharing and others are offering comfort- things that you cannot openly publish on your status update or debate about it in the full view of your few hundred Facebook ‘friends’.
Here are some sites:
- Does anyone feel lonely in their relationship with their partner?
- I’m married, and yet I have never feel so lonely
- Have you ever felt lonely in a relationship?
- Being Alone Vs Being Lonely
- Facebook will make you feel like a loser
- Facebook makes you depressed
- Facebook genuinely make you feel lonely
- Facebook’s ‘Like’ Button Makes Me Feel Lonely
But before you impulsively go and delete or deactivate your Facebook account, learn to look at Facebook from another point of view- a way for you to keep in touch with friends. Where else can you find almost all your friends- including those far away, those whom you have not seen for years in a single place. It’s so easy to check with them something or drop a short message and in that way, you need not worry if your friends had changed contact numbers or have shifted. All you need to do is to login to send them a message.
It’s good to know what is happening in the lives of your friends. I certainly want to know if they’re still okay or holding out fine. Usually, I just send them a private message if I want to be in touch with them. Sometimes I write on their wall for fun. Most importantly, don’t take it personally if they don’t reply. It’s okay if no one ‘Like’ your photo album or make comments- don’t take it as rejection. Your happiness should not hang on whether your ‘friends’ (you may not even have seen some of those ‘friends’ in real life) respond to status updates or photos that you post. Share for sake of sharing.
And, many of my closest friends are no longer active in Facebook. Yep, you do see an update from them once in a blue moon but often they login because they’re responding to someone else’s comments. Basically, they’ve got too much going on in their daily lives to have time to login to Facebook.