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When my mom was pregnant with me, her eyes had felt very uncomfortable. She said the sensation was similar to what you feel when you go out in the sun and come back indoors- the surroundings become dark. It is as if a dark film envelopes your sight. And she felt, to be put in layman terms, ‘cobwebs in the eyes’.

One day, a patient needed to be brought to the eye clinic- as there was no available assistant nurse, my mom offered to push the patient (the patient was on the wheelchair) to the eye clinic. There, she bumped into a Korean doctor whom she had assisted in a cataract operation from another hospital.

The doctor asked how she was and she told him that she felt a funny sensation- like having cobwebs in the eyes. She always felt the sensation as if she had just gone out to the sunlight and came back and see everything darkened- even though she had done so.  The doctor shone the eye torch on my mom’s eyes and instantly looked alarmed. Immediately he called his superior, who was the eye specialist to take a look.

My mom was diagnosed with papilledema, caused by high intracranial pressure. It was lucky that it was detected in time- because one fall could be fatal as the pressure in her skull was high. She was immediately warded and given high doses of steroids. Because she was pregnant with me and did not want any complications, she flushed the medicine down the toilet bowl. After a few days of doing that, the pills floated on the toilet bowl- she was afraid of being found out and went to dispose it on some other ways.

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After getting married, many young couples initially would want to enjoy the bliss of just being with each other- being carefree to travel or go outing. Then after a few years, they would want a baby. Imagine the nightmare when the wife is unable to conceive when the couple really want to have a baby. It strains the relationship and in some cases, may lead to separation.

I decide to write this article after witnessing a few of my friends from my previous department having the problem to conceive. One or two could conceive but suffer a miscarriage soon after. A miscarriage is a very traumatizing experience for a woman. When they saw the doctor, they were told that it could be working stress. Perhaps a less demanding job (either by transfer department or leaving the company) may help.

Previously, I worked in a place most well know in the industry for being one of the most stressed place to work. Imagine the usual comment that I used to get from people who realized that I’ve been with the company for so many years is- ‘how can you sustain for so many years?’

I know of someone who once suffered a miscarriage twice- she had thought that she could not conceive a baby. Finally, she quit and went to work for another company (same senior position and higher pay but much less stress). She become a mother of two children.

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The Western world may not be familar with the many rites that accompanies a woman who had just given birth. In the Eastern world, at least in the Malay and Chinese traditional, there are endless rites to follow. A woman who had just given birth and given 60 days of maternity leave is just not staying at home to bond with her newborn. She is also required to undergo many difficult procedures that requires patience and resillence. The mother-in-law or the mother herself may personally supervise the entire procedures- often, a knowledgeble woman cum nanny are engaged for about 2 months to cook special meals and prepare specific items required for the confinement.

However, this practice is slowly fading off- many of my friends who became mothers no longer abide by these procedures. The effects will not come immediately- but will start to show themselves when the woman is in her 40s or 50s- I am now able to see the effects of my mom’s friends who had chosen not to follow confinement procedures and are now in their late 50s and 60s.

You may find it hard to believe that traditionally, a woman who undergo a ‘proper’ confinement have to adhere to the following:

1. No bathing and washing hair for one month (for some stricter mother-in-law, it is 2 months). If she cannot stand it and had to bathe, then a black strong smelling mixture containing ginger, and other herbs are used to bathe. They have powder to put on the hair and body to prevent itching

2. For Chinese, they take very little vegetables/fruits as it is considered ‘yin’ or too cooling for the body. Daily diet consists of pork leg/ chicken cooked in ginger, liquor and vinegar. The food is taken everyday. Yes, some new mothers eat until they had grown phobic of the food- sometimes for life. 

Strictly, very strictly, no cold food or drinks can be taken like cool water or anything straight from the fridge.

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