A cancer diagnosis that forces a woman to relook her life

Cancer, Inner Peace, Mind-Body Connection

The mom of a close friend of mine got diagnosed with womb cancer when my friend was 17 years old. Prior to the diagnosis, her mom had always been an accommodating, and  quietly submissive person, taking care of the family business while my friend’s father is out hanging out with his friends.

When her dad came back after enjoying himself and in a foul mood, he would just verbally abuse her mom for no reason. Usually, the words were hurtful- he made sure she knew what an incapable, uneducated useless woman who was just lucky to end up with him. He also found fault with lots of things that she did. If I was not mistaken, my friend told me that her dad had hit her mom a few times.

Through the years, her mom had allowed that abuse to happen. She told my friend, that she will just put up with it till all her children are grown up. Then, she will just leave him.

That was the plan-  until that fateful year when she was diagnosed with womb cancer. It was a tough period for my friend as well, as she was due to sit for an important examination soon.

Her mom had to undergo operation, followed by radiotherapy. Unfortunately, the radiotherapy damaged part of her intestines. She had to attach an external colostomy bag with her wherever she went- where her faeces had to be lodged on the bag instead of passing out naturally via the rectum. It was almost 2 years before her intestines recovered and she was able to have it removed.

RELATED:  Silence In One Ear, Hearing Loss?

It was during the time that her mom made the decision that she will just stop being nice and accommodating. She is not a fierce person, but when she started standing up for herself, her husband (my friend’s dad) started backing off.  At the same time, my friend and her siblings were already very angry with their father- and in order to protect their mom, they no longer endure their father’s nonsense. They made it known that if their dad were to as much as bully their mom anymore, they will leave their dad.

Deep down inside, bullies are cowards- they are just trying to portray power through breaking others down. When the victim refuses to endure any nonsense, the bully will usually back off. And sometimes, these former bullies will find courage to deal with their own fears and issues.

But there’s also another side to this- as a couple, they have gone through a lot of difficulties together. After her mom changed, their relationship sort of evolved. There was no divorce- in fact, later her mom ran into some difficulties and her dad dropped everything to be by her side.

It has been more than 15 years since the diagnosis. The cancer has been under remission.

Of course, her mom also took care of other aspects- such as her diet, and do not work herself so hard anymore.

She is not the first cancer survivor who I’ve seen changed from being a passively submissive person to a more assertive person. Perhaps the diagnosis is not such a curse- as it had forced her change her life.

RELATED:  Does the amount of friends you have in Facebook matters?

Everything that happens in our lives- illnesses and tragedies are part and parcel of the life of a mortal. It really sad and it sucks big time to have to learn a lesson in such a cruel way. But these incidents force us to stop living our life in the wrong direction. They give us no choice but to turn inward and after we heal, we emerge as stronger, more compassionate and learn what’s the meaning of conscious living.

Related Post

Challenges and problems are put into our lives for a reason so why not stop runn... Some believe we are all put on earth for a purpose- to achieve our greatest potentials. And before we can achieve that, there are tonnes of trials, wrong turns and roadblocks- placed to help to mould us to be who we can become. If we deny or try to run away from it, we may find ourselves having to deal with the same issues and fears again and again...
Persistent cough with no cure and how it relates to stress and depression Is there a mental connection between a persistent cough that never seems to go off despite all the remedies, cough mixture, cough drops and antibiotics taken? Many sufferers somehow felt that the cough may be connected to the stress at work. It is a clear and obvious sign with the cough seemed to turn much milder during days off and weekends...
Drinking coffee when depressed and the effect on the kidneys Jude, a reader dropped a comment at my post Why there is pain in kidney area? From personal experience….  which I thought would be better to turn it into a post for the benefit of others who may be facing the same problems as her.  I would do my outmost to address her issues and concerns. Her comment is as follows: Hey I find your point inte...
When life loses its meaning after retirement A middle-aged lady told me that nowadays she did not have the mood to do anything at all. She would just would alternate between sitting down and lying on the bed. And she had also lost her appetite- she actually had to force herself to eat just to get something into her body. Usually, about 2 months prior to the festive session, she would just los...
Unhealthy habits that you are not able to break because it reminds you of happy ... Do you have any habits that you know is not healthy or beneficial but you are helpless to stop them because it reminds you of a period of your life when you are most happy and carefree? It can be anything, ranging from: Spending hours a day watching old movies that remind you of the times when you first watch them- younger days with no care...
If you like this post, say thanks by sharing it:

Leave a Comment


8 + = 13