My parents
In a way, I was given lots of freedom when I was growing up. Both my parents worked hard to put food on the table and give us adequate education. They do not believe in spending money on items considered as a luxury such as an air con car (we drive a Madza 1976-no air con and very old car), mountain bike, camera, and washing machine. We also lived in a very run down house because my parents wanted to put aside the money in case they have to spend on our education.
In the case of my mom, she was given up for adoption when she was an infant. She was adopted by a lady who migrated from China and was working as a servant here- I refer to her as my grandaunt. My grandaunt somehow managed to give my mom an education till Senior Cambridge amidst real poverty– even though her adopted family could barely afford school uniforms (my mom wore the same uniform for 5 years), books and food. When her friends get pocket money to buy food of their own, my mom filled up her stomach during recess time with tap water- she had no money to buy food. With an education, my mom was able to get enrolled into the nursing program (recognized by all Commonwealth countries). My mom repaid my grandaunt’s kindness by taking care of her for 20 years- my grandaunt passed away when I was 9 years old. She was about 91 years old then.
Childhood
Being born right after the World War 2 era, both my parents had know hunger during their childhood, especially my mom, who grew up literally having nothing to eat. Life was very tough.
At least mom had always believed in proper nutrition and ensure that our main meals consists of home cooked food. However, as my parents spend many hours away from home working on shifts, I filled up my boredom (and probably loneliness) by eating. And as what every child does, the tendency is to love junk food- so Cheerios, Twisties, all types of candies, soft drinks, M&Ms, cookies, etc. These food are so accessible: the breadman who comes in the motorbike- followed by another 2 breadman who knew me as their loyal young customer. Then, there’s the school canteen and a 2 provision shops located just about 100 metres away from my house. I started to buy junkfood on my own at the age of 7- and well, the rest is history.
I remember being a very hyperactive child when I was young- but as the effect of junk food wore on, I remember feeling increasing tired as I was about 9 when the weight gain started become really obvious. I remember the time when I was in primary 5 (11 years old), my class teacher and some other teachers made fun of me few times in front of the class because I was the heaviest girl in the class- I was 120 lbs that time and was one of the dumbest student in class. This had a very demoralizing effect on my morale as a child, which I think took me years to rebuilt. But in a way I guess that had spurned me to study hard.
After that, I was sent to a high school well known for its discipline and gangsterism- despite achieving straight As in my primary examinations (all the top scorers, except me was sent to more prestigious schools near my area. Sigh, prejustice always rules). Still, it turned out to be a great blessing, I’ve made many great friends who just accepted me the way I am- who sadly, have little other sob stories of their own.
Problem is that many people had prejudice on others- and people always think that kids with discipline problems are bad- no one bothered to take the time to find out the real underlying issue. Even gangsters have their own codes of ethnics. Funny thing is that when I went into the school, no decent parents wanted their kids to be there (including my mom) but towards my final years in the school, the school changed from being a reputed gangster school into one of the school that produces top students in government exams. This is due to a new headmistress, who despite getting the school office burnt, the tyres of her car slit, a few death threats- never relented in her mission of transforming the school into a good school. Of course, she was later promoted and transferred to a better position within the Education Ministry.
During my time, if you cannot score good results in the most difficult public exams- the form six STPM, you will need to go to go to private college and do some twinning overseas. My parents could not afford that- and the school seemed to have given me a ‘second chance’. The exam results had qualified me into entry to a local university, fulfilling my parents dream of giving me an education that they can afford (local university courses are largely subsidised by the government).
Today, many people from the so called ‘gangster’ school are very successful people holding high corporate positions. That shows that you can always beat the odds, no matter what situation life throws to you.
Introduction to caffeine
Anyway, with proper nutrition (mom had been real dedicated- she gets up at 5am to cook lunch before going to work), it has helped to prevent my weight from going out really out of control. Also, because I ate too much of junk food throughout my childhood, I was not into Twisties and Cheerios as I approach my twenties. But I took lots of sweet stuff and have a sweet tooth.
When I was 17 and trying to study for my government exams, often by merely looking at books will make me sleepy. A friend told me that drinking coffee will help me to stay away. I started to drink coffee and find that it actually works- but noticed that somehow it interfered with my creativity to think of out the box (I rely on my creativity to come out with answers during exams, especially when I cannot remember the facts). So I drink coffee to study but made sure I never drink it on exam days- I was not addicted to it then.
University days.
I never liked exercise those days (except dancing to music). So the lack of activity and my high sugar consumption made me feel tired all the time. I studied university at another state, so for the first time in my life, I’ve had lots of freedom in choosing my meals. I ate whatever I liked, and almost always had either tea or coffee (with sugar, condensed milk) or some kind of sweet drinks accompanying every meal. The eating-what-I-like diet made me feel more tired and lethargic, and that made me drank even more caffeine to attempt to beat the tiredness. It’s a vicious cycle and an ongoing struggle. I had no idea that time that my high intake of sugar and lack of exercise had contributed to my lethargy. At the same time, I developed insomnia, which made my waking hours literally like a zombie- sometimes, it made me feel cranky and thank goodness, my friends put up with me.
I put on about 4kg extra during university days, which I managed to lose back when I initially started working.
Working life.
Sometimes, I cannot believe that I’ve led so many y
ears of my life being absolutely clueless that my sweet tooth was the main cause of my many sufferings. Coupled with sleeping problem (from insomnia, it had turned to be active dreams right before I was about to wake up, making me feel as if I’ve never slept before), I struggled to go to work and to go through the workday.
I thought I was having a good breakfast to charge up my day- by eating simple traditional cakes, curry puffs, white bread sandwiches with my coffee- and I’ve had absolutely no idea that those stuff that I am eating are high in calories- I only thought that bulkier food like chicken rice, hokkein fried mee, ice cream are fattening. These food also further aggrivated my hunger pangs- and less than 2 hours of eating, I will feel hungry again.
Soon, all these got into me- I started feeling burnt out and stressed more easily as the years wore on. I’ve lived to regret mood swings and verbal outbursts. Each time, I am humbled when those who are around me were compassionate enough to forgive me. But still, no one knew the root cause of the problem.
Then last year, as things were getting out of hand, I started to seriously look into the root cause of my problem- so I tried all sorts of things- joining a gym, taking a vegetarian diet, meditation, yoga, wearing bright colours, you named it, I’ve tried it. Still it does not work after a while. I had a vague foggy memory from reading something about how glutton and high sugar intake makes one tired and moody but I thought it was something not possible and never considered giving up my favourite sweet stuff. At the same time, my weight seemed to have gone up and no matter how much I’ve exercised, I could never seem to lose it (after joining the gym, I have began to love exercising). I guess my metabolism is decreasing due to age.
So, it finally sets in
Then, in April (07), I picked up a book on “Win the Sugar War” at a warehouse sale and is appalled to know that the sweet stuff I love so much is actually robbing me of a quality life. I’ve lived what’s supposed to be the best years of my life in lethargy and knowing many out there are like me, I’ve decided to do more research and start a blog to share with others what I know. Honestly, I do not want others to go through what I’ve gone through.But down the line, I have also realised that no doubt proper food helps to balance the sugar in your body, a positive attitude and an ability to lighthen up helps too
And thus, this blog is borned. I am continously doing research on health, food and fitness- and I am testing out various methods to check if they worked.
Note: Photos added on June 08
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